Dat face tho (Tamaki Suoh x Male!Reader)

A.N: Humour! At it’s worst.

(Male!Name) the strange emotionless guy that suddenly popped out of nowhere and started to request ‘the king of the host club’, the famous Tamaki Suoh. His mysterious personality, flawless (s/c) and luscious (h/c) charming anyone who laid his eyes on him. At first the guests were ecstatic, whipping out cameras, making doujinshi’s and preparing appropriate ship names… however it had been two months and not a single. thing. had. happened.

All the two had done was sit down and chat casually, (Male!Name)’s mysterious facade still firmly in place. It was during after the recent host club session that one of the girls had overheard that (Male!Name) and Tamaki were staying for an extra half hour as (Male!Name) had been busy with his clubs. This was it- they were finally getting together! Thus, when the afternoon passed by, a large amount of girls, strangely including the rest of the host club and Nekozawa leaned in close to the large doors of the music room to listen to the quiet conversation going on inside it’s walls.

TAMAKI’S POV

I placed myself down on the large couch adjacent to (Male!Name). I leant in closer transfixed at (Male!Name) slowly and elegantly reaching for the cup of tea I had just poured for him. How is a guy that is so emotionless, so cool? Determined to not be outdone, I gently grabbed his chin, tipping his face towards me revealing emotionless (e/c) eyes.

“So (Male!Name) how have your clubs been?” I questioned as he reached up and moved my wrist away from his face.

“In drama club I work the soundbox and all the tech needed to be revamped, also in the homework club I help people with assignments.” he flicked his (h/l) (h/c) casually, reclining back onto the couch.

I smirked, maybe it was time to try and unnerve this guy a little, “Oh damn. That sounds kinda... plain.”

My smirk widened slightly seeing (Male!Name)’s eyebrow twitch slightly, “I'm not offended in anyway you're actually quite right it is quite plain.” A deep chuckle reverberated warmly from his throat before he abruptly stood up, “Excuse me, I need to blow my nose.” He moved away, as he went over to another table to pick up a tissue, I saw him swiftly reach up to dab his eyes. Frowning I stood up and wrapped my arms around his (taller/smaller/whatever) frame.

“You seem slightly offended (Male!Name), I apologise.” I grinned, trying to get him to turn towards me, “Are you crying?”

“No. I’m just pulling your leg. ” he immediately replied his face shifting back to its usual expression-less self. We moved back to the couch and spent the next few minutes seated in silence.

“(Male!Name) seriously, are you really pulling my leg?” I panicked slightly trying to make weird hand signals as I tried to awkwardly not upset him any further.

(MALE!NAME) POV

I resisted the urge to smirk at Tamaki’s expression, winding him up was so much fun. Keeping a straight face, I shrugged trying to appear nonchalant, “I was pulling your leg Tamaki.”  I paused slightly waiting for relief to seep into the other’s expression, “Or am I?”

His perplexed expression worsened as he leant forward placing his hands over my shoulders, (Male!Name), no! Tell me the truth.”

I repeated what I had said earlier. “I’m telling the truth.” My mask slipping because of the amusement and the overall hilariousness of the whole situation.

“What type of face is that?” he asked, staring curiously at my face.

I answered him without any hesitance, “My rape face.” revelling in his horror struck expression.

“What? No! (Male!Name), please- NO RAPE FACE.” he shook my frame, his face showing how anxious he was.

I couldn’t help it- a large cocky smile slid onto my face, “Yes rape face. You deserve this rape face.” I frowned internally, ‘Oh god, that didn’t sound right-‘

TAMAKI POV

“Please no rape face. Much scary. Such terrifying.” I crossed myself hoping the power of doge would save me from this weird situation.

Sadly, he countered immediately and smoothly, “I will never stop this rape face it’s a part of me. Very disagreement. Much amusement.”

“Damn you!” I stood up and dramatically flipped the table.

“Flip one table? I’ll flip TWO!” (Male!Name) approached two of the nearby tables and flipped them passionately like pancakes. “I still have this fab rape face. You will never be rid of it.”

“I will not stand for this.” I shrieked (in a very manly manner) and proceeded to rub my eyes with some of my hidden shampoo. “I CAN’T SEEEEEEEE.”

I felt (Male!Name) wraps his arms around my waist and whisper, “You know you want to look at this face-“

“I AM BLIND I DON’T WANT TO SEE (MALE!NAME)!” I swatted at him as I felt him try and gently rub the shampoo out of my eyes.

“Hush, it’s okay Tamaki… I’ll use my pedo face instead.” I screeched loudly before passing out.

(MALE!NAME)’S POV

‘What a disappointment.’ I sighed internally before placing my jacket over Tamaki’s prone form. ‘Why didn’t he accept his birthright?’

EXTENDED ENDING

OUTSIDE THE ROOM

One of the girls closest to the door turned to the others a confused expression on her face, “(Male!Name) is laughing and I can hear Tamaki screaming and furniture being thrown around. What do you think’s going on inside?” She turned red, before whispering quietly,” You don’t think they’re doing S&M stuff, do you? I never knew that Tamaki-san was a masochist.”

“Mori, what’s S&M and what’s a masochist?” Hunny asked looking up at Mori.

“…” Mori picked the over up and placed him over his shoulder, “Nothing you need to know. We need to keep your purity and innocence.” He looked over at Kyoya, nodding in approval of something.

Kyoya shook his head, before pushing up his glasses, “No need to check anything. I placed cameras in the room earlier. Feel free to purchase and watch the film later, along with the fan service photos included in the pack. However, we can’t have our voices being heard by the mic’s in the room so we should leave.” Ushering everybody else away, he looked back at the door and whispered, “It’s okay, (Male!Name) and Tamaki… I ship you guys.”

LE END